If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
