I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
