My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
