she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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