So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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