the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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