And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
