We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
