I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
