I wanna bring you to show and tell
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
