'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
