dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just blew my weed a kiss
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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