I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
it's great music for shaving your balls
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
