I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
