farters have to be the big spoon...
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
