grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
