So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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