You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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