i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
