Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
