First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
