I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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