We're facebook friends in real life
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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