new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Randomize
