Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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