ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
