My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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