my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
