I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
