so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
