I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
