Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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