I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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