This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
this will be a night to untag.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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