I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Couch. On fire.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
