My pussy is not your playground.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
