Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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