that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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