my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
