Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
