how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
