Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
