I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
