party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
