Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Randomize
