yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
