dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
is that a dick in a sweater?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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