If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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