A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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