My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
